Existential Dread, or E.D. (n): 1) A sudden and often intense feeling of despair, hopelessness or meaninglessness that comes upon an individual, usually in the midst of mundane daily activity, and is sometimes but not always accompanied by an acute realization of the inevitability of death. 2) The faint and often lingering sense of depression derived not from any particular trauma or conscious memory but a subconscious realization that life is, inherently, meaningless.
I suffered from depression most of my teenage and college life, driven to suicidal and, what I like to call, Kamikaze tendencies (when you do stupid and/or dangerous activities and don't care about the outcome - i.e. drugs, drinking, or casual/reckless sex). It's my theory that all these symptoms: despair, depression, and suicidal thoughts, attempts, or tendencies stem from the fear of death and meaninglessness and are manifestations of either the need to avoid thinking about those realities or the need to simply face reality as soon as possible and just "get it over with, cause it's gonna happen anyway."
I feel compelled to help people find a cure for E.D. This blog plays a role in that. Contemplation of God, meditation on His word, and discovering His will provides relief from the anxiety brought on by death and meaninglessness. I consider the book of Ecclesiastes to be the quintessential religious case study and manual for dealing with E.D. Everyone's trying to find the cure, when there already is one, consumed by millions of patients, prescribed on a national level by Israel for hundreds of years, and completely free of charge: the god of Israel, the Creator of the world, the only source of unconditional and undying love.
Fine print: If you don't seek Him, if you don't care to find the cure, or you don't do what's already been prescribed, there's no guarantee that your E.D. will go away. Drugs may dull its pain, but the condition will still be present. In the end you will die and will then realize you've been right the whole time. Life, both this one and the next, will be meaningless for you. This present life will have been for nothing, no matter how grand it appeared to you, and you will not have taken it with you when you died. The only "thing" you'll still find intact on the other side of death is your own soul, what its become, and the cure you rejected: the god who will ultimately define whether your life really had a point.